Should you give up heels for a short partner?

Should you give up heels for a short partner?

Are you crazy! The very thought makes me shudder. What I choose to wear, from my clothes to my shoes defines me. It would be like somebody asking me to be less me. While I’m not here to give relationship advice, I do know from personal experience that you cannot change somebody and nor should you ask. It will always end the same way. Whether it’s tomorrow, next week, next year or 10 years from now, it never works.

If you’re being asked to give up your heels for your significant other then this says more about them than you. It’s not like we’re talking about illicit substances!

So why is it an issue in the first place? Well, it sounds like we have social norms to thank for this with the belief that men should be taller than their respective partners.

I’m not a guy so it’s hard for me to comment on something I know nothing about. When researching this topic I kept coming back to the same blog post by Stephen Silver from the Honest Pick Up. Here’s how he describes being with a taller women who wears heels.

“Everything would be fine until she’d pull a pair of heels out of her closet. I’d hope and pray she’d wear some other type of shoes. Maybe she’d opt for canvas sneakers or fancy flat shoes. I didn’t know. I didn’t care. I just didn’t want her to pull out heels.

My girlfriend was only slightly taller than I was. But when she decided to wear heels it wasn’t even close. Suddenly she’d be towering over me. Any feelings of manliness or confidence I had would disintegrate.

Once we’d leave her apartment I’d feel a wave of disempowerment wash over me. I’d tell myself not to feel bad about it. I knew I had nothing to be ashamed of. Logically I knew there was no reason to be upset. She felt more attractive when she wore them. Who was I to tell her what shoes to wear? But my emotions would override logic. I couldn’t contain my insecurities and the evening would turn from a fun and enjoyable one to a slugfest of animosity. I was embarrassed by the height discrepancy and I’d guilt her about it. Which of course was ridiculous behavior that only led to ugly arguments.”

I think Stephens thoughts resonate with my earlier comments about this issue being more about your partner then you. While at the end of the day, it’s your decision and maybe you might choose the happiness of your partner over your own, I strongly recommend that you think twice before giving up a piece of yourself. After all, our heels are an extension of who we are.


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